Julie Mullins - One actress. Many Stories.

To kiss or not to kiss

Kissing is the gateway to romantic love, but it isn’t all Rodin out there. Whether you’re 22 or 62, there are a lot of kisses that don’t fit before you find a good match.

Kissing is an art, a joy. And an unexpected upside of delaying marriage is that there’s more time to kiss… different people.

The theatrical heroine of To Kiss Or Not To Kiss boldly goes where many a woman has gone before, but few have disclosed. Armed with style and humour she finds a healing kiss in the Queensland rainforest, a dangerous kiss at 3,000 feet, a kiss that ends in an arrest, and kisses that save her from being stranded on the streets of New York. From Mr Universe in Paris to Mr Too Cute in Firenze and Banana Man in London, the “girl who can’t say no” chases romance across the globe in search of the kiss that will bring her heart home.

To Kiss Or Not To Kiss is a collection of honest stories about a woman’s search for love, told by a hopeful romantic, an actress who is not afraid to take risks, pick up her cues, love, laugh, create and cherish the drama of a passionate life.

To Kiss or not to Kiss book cover
To Kiss or not to Kiss book cover

Kissing is an art.  And so is good story-telling.

Women will love this book. Men might learn something. 

A kiss can work miracles!


When dating, it’s almost certain a girl will consider ‘to kiss or not to kiss’ …

If a woman is attracted to someone it’s an intrinsic goal. The kiss is a high point — or should be — the moment in which a woman decides yes, or no, to all sorts of other things. It’s an all-important connection. And a man who underrates kissing, especially a first kiss, does so at his peril.

This is far from an exact science.

Dating is a dilemma, and kissing is trickier. Even when you know you want a kiss you still have to ask: Is it too soon? When will it be too late? Who should initiate? And the biggest question of all is of quality.

A kiss is as personal as one can get, and assessments of it are utterly subjective. Tastes differ. Mood or trust can alter preferences, and style may depend on circumstance or familiarity. Nevertheless, there is a measure of a kiss. It’s not an official or definitive measure. It is what most of us have learned from our own experience, our idiosyncratic collection of kisses, real and imagined.

Kisses may be gentle, passionate, tempting, grateful, boring, sympathetic, lie-back-and-think-of-England, hungry, rough, desperate, naughty, nice, forbidden or hopeful. The list of possibilities is endless. Happily, a kiss may be so perfectly pitched, so delectable, that it takes your breath away. That’s what most of us want.

A girl can dine out on a hot kiss, her friends wanting to hear every detail of the lead and set up, and it can keep her awake at night or dreaming for hours.

But, it’s not all Rodin out there. Kissing is a lottery. And you have to be in it to win it.

Some years ago I lived in Bondi and was friendly with a neighbour. He was a typical Aussie beach bloke, blonde, muscle-bound and suntanned. Often he’d pass me in the garden and take time for a chat. After some months he broke up with his girlfriend so my flatmate and I would invite him over for a glass of wine. Then he asked me out to dinner. We went down Bondi Rd to a little Thai place, one of my favourites, and walked to the headland and along the beach. It was a beautiful spring night, with few people around. At exactly the right moment he pulled me into an embrace and kissed me. And OMG it was dreadful. All of the tenderness he had shown was gone. I was instantly put off. It was so disappointing.

Perhaps his style would be good for someone else? Perhaps he was over eager? But for me, I had to get away so I made an excuse about needing to go home. I felt bad for him. For weeks afterwards he kept asking me out. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what had killed our possible romance in an instant. Nor did he have any ability to work it out for himself. Bad kissing is difficult in any scenario (or perhaps I should say ‘a kissing mismatch’) but if you have to keep seeing each other it’s very awkward.

Still, I’m not sure if ‘the gross kiss’ is better or worse than ‘the boring kiss’ … the kiss which just doesn’t light your fire. If you like the person, then a boring kiss can be delicate. You will feel an obligation to give it another go. You don’t want to judge him too hastily for he (or if you bat the other way, she) might just be nervous or warming up. But later it can be hard to extricate yourself from a situation that simply doesn’t interest you. Or at least interest you enough. Ultimately, if you don’t get the tingles you are unlikely to keep kissing for long. And of course, greedy creatures that we are, the object after a first kiss is to keep going!

With all these dilemmas to navigate, perhaps there should be a school for kissing: a course where you go from Learner to Provisional to Master? But I guess that would take all the fun out of it. And what is life without the agony and the ecstasy, risks and rewards?

So here for your amusement, are some stories where kissing provided an irrevocable turning point.

To Kiss Or Not To Kiss is for sale on Amazon & Kindle 22nd July 2015

Stay in touch

Get the 1st chapter FREE of To Kiss Or Not To Kiss when you register